First, thank you to everyone for all the support.  I’m really pleased and flattered and grateful that people are actually interested in reading what I write, and I’m even more of those things to everyone who’s throwing money in the tip jar as they leave.

You internet people out there are so fucking kind, I really mean it.  You’re actually paying me for these stories.

I’m a little blown away.

So without further ado, hi, I’m Tess Mackenzie and I write smut.

I haven’t put up one of these pages until now because it seemed a bit creepy.  Like how back in the day you might not have necessarily wanted a close personal relationship with the porno video shop clerk.  Unless it’s that funny chick that ended up writing a book, but that’s neither here nor there.  I was kind of assuming the same, and you might rather not know, but all the other smutty authors have pages like this, so I decided I probably should too.

So what do I write?

I try to write slightly thinky, realistic, character-driven erotica.  That’s what I think I’m doing, anyway.  People do kinky stuff, but hopefully in the way real people might, when they’re having an especially good day.  There’s some about people in strong relationships trying new things, like bringing in new sex partners, and there’s some about relationships ending, too.  People change, and develop, and live their lives, and that’s tied into the sex they’re having.

This may not be what everyone wants, so I also write some smutty wank-material as well, because that’s fun too.  There you go and you’re welcome.

There’s also some romantic erotica, because fuck you romance novels are subversive literature and Wikipedia says so.

And that doesn’t really help, does it.  You probably want details.

Blush.

Um, yeah.  There’s a lot of oral sex.  Because its nice and fun and most people like it.  There’s a fair bit of group sex, because, um… sometimes you write an interesting story, with strong characters confronting complex and challenging situations, and sometimes you’re just a pervert sitting at a computer making up filth.  People do seem to get semen in their mouths a lot.  I’m not sure how men out there might feel about the way I depict imaginary men’s enthusiasm for that particular deed, so you know, be warned.

And now you can probably work out a creepy amount about me from all that, so go ahead.  I’m just going to pretend you’re not.

So anyways.  I try not to describe the characters at all, because after a while, reading, I decided what happens is the author hits one wrong note and that makes the whole thing come to a screechy halt.  You give me a paragraph on exactly what the hot stud looks like, and that’s cool, except how you like, say, ginger pubes and I really don’t, and then that’s all I can think about for the rest of the story.  It seems safer not to mention details at all, and then we can all get on with our imagining in quiet satisfaction.

If you really, really want to know what I actually think everyone looks like, you can look here, but I really don’t know if you should.  This is like DVD special features – you might not want to pull the curtain back and find out how boring the film maker actually is.  I’m warning you.

Okay, go ahead.

Satisfying, was it?

I also go on a bit about what words I use for people’s bits here, if you’re interested.  I’m mostly guessing what doesn’t seem too gross, so let me know if I guess wrong.

What else.  I’m kind of shit at grammar and proof-reading, and I apologise for that.  I catch what I can, and fix mistakes when I see them, but I’m doing this all myself and copyediting really isn’t a strength.  So I’m sorry, and I am doing my best, and I will fix anything anyone tells me about, I promise.

I’m not sure how to label stories.  I’m open to suggestions, if it helps if I’m doing it a particular way.  It does seem that if we’re maintaining the fiction that warnings are actually warnings, then putting ‘n/c anal gangbang’ for example, seems a bit like ‘this book contains some fucking swearing’.  And while you might not care, the blurbs and the rest are there for everyone to see, and it doesn’t necessarily seem okay to throw it in people’s faces.

I will try and warn about anything odd.  I promise.  Odd being very broad. I want you to keep reading, not wander off thinking I’m some disgusting weirdo, so I’ll try and make it clear if anything odd is going to happen.  And yes, I have stopped reading erotica on the web because I think the author is a disgusting weirdo, and I bet you have to.  So basically ‘adult content’ means oral, some anal, maybe a little very light restraint, exhibitionism and multiple partners.  Anything else, like bdsm, spanking, whips, or consent issues, I’ll mention that specifically in the blurb.

Which leads to this.  Part of why I’m putting this up now is I’m a bit worried some of you might like one thing I’ve written and be a bit horrified by some of the others.   Or you might like one thing and be bored by the others.  So it might be useful to make a list.

You can get in touch if you want to.  I’m still learning this, so if you think I’m doing anything right or wrong, please just go ahead and tell me.  I’m interested in what people are actually into, if that doesn’t feel too creepy telling me, and I’m not always going to be realising that what people like in a story is actually what I thought it was.  There’s a comments page, and an email form too.  Depending how much privacy you want as you communicate.

So, um, big favour to ask, if you’ve read this far.

If you like a story and only if you’re not embarrassed to do this could you leave a rating or a review or whatever on the website you got it from?  I never used to, but the internet marketing gurus say it’s a big deal for emerging authors, and I should ask.  Because it lets other people decide whether to try my work, and moves me up searches too, on some websites.  I’d be really grateful, and it might actually help more readers find me.

And actually, if you liked something, or found something good but it went off in a funny direction, or I really piss you off with an ending but you still like me a little anyway, or you hate reading about anal, or bondage, or whatever, or you want me to shut the fuck up about it, or anything else, do let me know.  As in, did you like the strength of Melissa’s relationship but not so much the sordid detail of every guy blowing a load in her mouth, then tell me.  Seriously.  I’m not just after validation here.  I’m learning this as I go, and it would really help to know if I’m turning people off.

And thank you again.  I’m really, really fucking grateful to all of you out there.