Islands in the Sky ebook

There’s a complete Islands in the Sky ebook now.  For money.  If you care :)

It’s on Amazon and Smashwords and the other places soon.

So the whole story is still on Wattpad, obviously, and the original first part is still on Smashwords, for the time being, although their grumpiness is becoming grumpy about it being there and incomplete so I have no idea if it’ll stay there.  And that one, the partial ebook is nowhere else, just to avoid confusion :)

Um, that’s all!

 

And the Final bit of Islands in the Sky

Um, because I’m not completely sure who looks where and who’ll actually see this, but part four, like the end of the first book is on Smashwords now.  And the other places soon, probably.

But it’s only going to be there for a few days, like a week. So go get it if you want it!

Because the plan is to take those four free parts down, and put it all up as a single pay-for novel, like part one of the How to Make a Boat out of a Wardrobe Cycle or something.  So those four chapters are book one, and so is everything on Wattpad up to chapter five as well.

If that makes sense.

But get it now, like soon, because I am going to take it down again, because having separate bits of the same thing up twice is just confusing and weird and bound to annoy someone.

So, um, that.  That’s all!

Oh, also, I tidied up the SFF page here, because I forgot until just now.  After like a year.  Oops.  And sorry if that weirdly confused anyone who actually looked at it expecting actual information and stuff because they’d actually found Islands in the Sky and had no idea about the rest…  so, um sorry…

And now that’s all :)

New Islands in the Sky chapter

Um, there’s a new ebooky chapter of Islands in the Sky here, if anyone wants an actual ebook!

Of a single chapter…

Yes.  Um…  It doesn’t seem as exciting saying it that way, does it :)

And so like it says at the end of those, if you really can’t wait for more, there is more!  Being adding to the story in small pieces most days, on Wattpad, so you can keep up with the very latest parts there!

And also, just to be really clear, the plan is to give these away as chapters, but to then sell the whole book. Which probably means taking these chaptery ones down again. So if you want to finish it as separate pieces then please do! But could you maybe make sure you have them all pretty quickly? Because I’ll wait a week or so with the last chapter up before I take it down and put up the book but just to warn, so people know!  That’s all!

Oh Um, the Other Thing…

Oh, wait.  Um.  The thing with graphic, filthy, bdsmy smut…  I just realized I forgot to say about that…

I am really, really not good at being organized.

Oops.  Sorry :)

So, a little while ago I started doing a thing.  To try.  And I kind of got embarrassed about it and didn’t want to say here at first, and then later on I wasn’t as embarrassed any more but, um, just kind of forgot.

So there’s another blog with stories on it.  Like separate from this.  For reasons.  Like writing down stuff and trying it out and for it not being as serious as this.  Except that now it is as serious, because I’m me, so I start things with no pressure and for fun and then get all earnest about them.  Like this.  So the idea was it wasn’t meant to be as rewritten and proof-read and everything, and was just going to be snippets of stuff.  To keep it fun, and so it would be quicker to write too, because for me proof-reading and tidying takes all the time.  And because a good url was free, so that too!

But maybe not so much now.  Maybe just more stories.

So I don’t know!

But anyways, I started a weirdo kind of true stories about me, kind of fantasies, kind of more bdsm than here story website page thing.

And yep, people have found it from here, but I still should have said properly for everyone else so I’m sorry for forgetting!

And um, also, to be really, really completely totally clear, so no-one gets a horrible surprise, this one is a bit different.

Like, trigger warnings, like all the triggery warnings.  Because this is stuff I’m writing down for me, so it might get a bit darker compared to here.  So if you think rough sex and tying people up is a bit ick, or aren’t that into spanking or ass-stuff or whatever else, then um, maybe best not?  Seriously.

And especially, there’s some stuff which absolutely might be triggery for people who had awful things happen to them, and I want to be really clear about that.  Like I’m sorry if awfulness happened to you, and that’s completely horrible, and I don’t want to bring it up, except that you might need to know about this.  Because um…  there is some iffy triggery-ish stuff here, like without going into why because of how that gives even me the ick sometimes and I just wrote it down, but there’s warnings on the pages at the top of anything like that, or anything else maybe a bit squick, so hopefully that’s enough.  And if it does end up getting in the way of anyone reading, um, say so, and I’ll maybe try and work out a way to blank that stuff out, like a tag that excludes those stories or something, like with clean here.

Um, anyways.  That.

So what I mean is that mostly what’s there is my rememberings and also my fantasies, basically.  And also there’s some other bits and pieces as well.  There’s a book which is being written slowly, and maybe very occasionally there’ll be stories there which just fit better there than anywhere else.

But it’s all a bit darker and more personal and probably a bit rougher than what’s usually on here.  Just to warn.

But um, here you go if that sounds interesting!

Afterthoughty Update:  Oh, um, same as it is here too, only look at these ones if you don’t want boys in your smut :)

Sometimes I Have A Slightly Surreal Life

So I just finished writing really graphic, filthy, bdsmy smut, and then I did the dishes.

Like not all the dishes, just the sticky pots and partner’s stupidly big wine glass which doesn’t fit properly in the dishwasher.  So it’s not like a huge chore or anything, but it’s still dishes.  Right after smut.  And for some reason that struck me as really quite weirdly surreal so I thought I’d share!

Um, I don’t completely know why surreal actually…  kind of something about because how I took off rubber gloves to sit down and type this?  And because I’m going to do laundry in a bit, and then vacuum and mop, probably, and while I do that I’m going to think about filthy smutty filth, and then maybe write it down later on?

Or maybe I’ll think about how to deal with an arranged marriage in a flying city, maybe that.  One or the other.  Who knows?

But maybe it’ll be smut.

Like, I really do spend a lot of time thinking dirty stuff while I do ordinary things.  Like more than normal people do, I assume, and way more then I used to before all the writery.

And it seems like there’s something about the gloves and mopping and dishes that probably isn’t quite what you’re all expecting either, that’s all.

So I thought I’d say!  And I did!

Um, stopping now :)

If Humans Had Tails, Proper Civilization Wouldn’t Exist. But We’d Probably All Be Happier Anyway!

Like seriously, think about it for a moment.

If we all had monkey tails, we’d just endlessly be using them to play with ourselves. Because, I mean, if you could just stand there with it curled up under your skirt rubbing yourself, but with both hands in plain sight, so no-one knew, then wouldn’t you?

Like all day?

So people would.  All the time.  And that’s fine.

Except problem!  Because people would have always been like this. Because we’d have been doing it forever.  So we’d just be like these evolved compulsive masturbators, and everyone would be at it, and no-one would really think about it much.  But it would have been going on forever, so everything humans ever did, all through history, would be affected by this.

I mean, affecting everything.

Like, even back when we were cave people, you could get on with your day of cavepersoning and still fondle yourself.  So you’d be off gathering the nuts and berries, using both hands, and playing with yourself as you did.  Like, hunting the mammoth, making the flints, digging up tubers or whatever, and also, rubbing away.

And then when we invent clothes and cities and everything, but people would just keep doing that.

I mean, except with the odd outbreak of religious extremism probably, and then everyone would walk have to walk around naked because it would be the only way to prove your moral purity, like to be sure everyone wasn’t still rubbing themselves.

So moral purity just wouldn’t work.  Because the choice would be naked and not masturbating, or clothes and masturbating.  So basically, that idea would collapse under the weight of its own stupid, and then everyone would go back to usual.

And so probably everyone would be happy.

And that’s nice!

Except!  Problem!  All of this masturbation would mean we’d all be doing less thinking, because how we’d be half-distracted all the time.  Like constantly.

As in, by now, in 2014, we’d probably only just be getting the hang of aqueducts and stuff, rather than internets and computers.  But then again, there’d probably less wars and hate and anger too, because when someone else in a cart cuts you off in your cart, you shrug and go oh well.  Because you’re sitting there driving and rubbing yourself.

And same with arguments in shops, and omfg asshole, is this really the price of dates, and someone gets the last special wooden toy trojan horse or whatever at holidays time.  All of that, you care for a second, then go, mmm, nice rubbing, and don’t care any more.

And trade negotiations.  And employment contacts.  And peace deals.  Everyone would be, yeah, whatever dude, anything you like, mmm, rubbing.

And so everyone just gets on better!

And wars would be the same.  Like how if you’re in bed and having special alone time and someone knocks on the door, or the neighbors are noisy, you don’t really care.  So same.  Like, all through history, when someone somewhere runs down the street going omfg what those people in the next country over did, we have to go and kill them all.  Then everyone would kind contentedly be, dude, sit down on your tail and chill for a moment, and the trouble-maker would, and then would be all, oh okay never mind.

So that might actually be good.  Like civilization or happy, which is better?  That kind of idea.

And yes this is probably a metaphor for a utopian world without politics or something?  Um, maybe?  Or permanently surgically attached sex toys?  Maybe?

I’m not sure.

Anyways.  Monkey tails.  Seriously!  Someone go write a SF novel about this because I’m never going to!

-

Update: oh I am so going own the tag “monkey tail masturbation” on both wordpress and google!  Ha!

Rethinking this slightly update: um, I really, really hope I am, anyway.  Now I’m too scared to actually check.

Against my better judgement update: oh my fuck google.  Just, oh my.  So um, okay, apparently a lot of people categorize their humorous primate masturbation videos by actual species, and a lot of monkey species have the word tail in the name…  I think I need to be away from the internet for a little while now…

New Islands in the Sky chapter ebook

So just in case anyone is desperately hanging out for an actual ebook rather than wattpad, the chapter two bit of Islands in the Sky is now on Smashwords.  So this is the part with Cassa’s wedding.

And actually, its also here too.  Um, because I hadn’t updated that in ages, but now I have.  Um, sorry?

And there’s a map, remember!

So.  It’s on Smashwords as reader sets price for no reason other than whimsy and reminiscence, because way back when I did that.  And because I need to keep remembering not to make it tricky for people to pay for stuff if they want, I guess.  Reasons like that. But please don’t feel obliged or guilted on anything, because obviously its still free, and obviously on Wattpad too, and especially if you’re actually reading this here!  Just don’t!

But it’s here.  It’s not on Amazon yet but it may be, but I’m just wondering whether it’s wise to spam Amazon with 99c partial ebooks or better just to wait and do a whole book at the end.  So I’m thinking :)

Um, 99c partial ebooks because Amazon doesn’t let things be free deliberately, you have to kind of trick the system and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, so it might end up not working.

Anyways, that!  And thank you :)

Update: Oh, and Debt Collectors War is updated to be current too.   And um, sorry about the huge chapters, but its boring making pages. So I didn’t, much!  Go read on wattpad if you want stuff to look tidy :)

Forever Is a Long Time Apparently

So I was lying in bed this morning, holding onto partner, and basically being a nuisance stopping people who actually have to get up and go to work from actually, well, getting up.  Which I do because I like hugging people in the morning, all sleepy.  And I like how partner smells first thing in the morning, too, which is different to any other time.

So anyways, I hold on and hug and nuzzle sometimes.  Which I was today.  After the alarm phone clock thingy went off, but before any actual getting up.

Anyways, while doing that, half asleep, I said, “This is so nice, I could do this forever.”

And partner, being perhaps slightly too literal, said, “Well, not forever.”

So I said, “Yep, forever.  Until the stars dim and everything in the universe goes still and whatever it is which does that pulls all the matter in the universe apart from itself into nothing.  Until the sun expands and burns the world and then shrinks away again, so the world is a crispy cinder all darkly floating in dead empty space.  Until then, I’d lie here in the bed hugging you.”  ***

And partner, extremely unromantically I think says, “Yuk, that’s horrible.  And also, before then you’d need to pee.”

“But forever!” I say.

“Forever being bored.  With the universe not there.  And us burned to a crisp, apparently.”  And then also something about being late.

So I let go and partner gets up and that was that.

But I still think it was terribly romantic.

-

Footnotey *** bit: Or something like that.  I might have tidied this up slightly for betterness, but that was pretty much what I said.

Random Usefulness

So some things I found out that someone else may care about!  Or be frustrated by not knowing!

The wordpress “more” link is the button third from the right in the top row of the post writing screen toolbar.  And I only just found it, after a year and a half, and I had to google to work out how to make a more, so there you go, I’m stupid.  

Um, if you don’t know what I mean, it’s like this…

Continue reading

I Got Inspired and Made a New Copyright Agreement!

So I was vaguely looking at an EULA just now, and getting all inspired.  Thanks Microsoft!  So now I’m seriously thinking of using this as my new copyright notice, but just wondering if the publishy places might not stop me…

-

This ebook is copyright.  It is not being sold.  It is licensed to you for your personal use and enjoyment only.  If you are not enjoying it, then you no longer have permission to use it.  So stop reading it!  Omfg does this actually need pointing out.  Go read something you do like!  Life is short!  It should be fun!  Don’t make me sue you to force you to read shit you actually like.  Ha!   Oh, and also, it’s not published, asshole, just licensed, so you don’t have permission to use its name, cover, blurb, description, contents, characters, or plotlines on any review site, or your own blog, or anywhere else.  This remains an unpublished private communication between you and the author and isn’t subject to fair use.  Don’t make my lawyer go find a US state where this is actually true, because my lawyer doesn’t want to move to Delaware and you won’t like paying the legal fees that result from that either.  Oh yeah, also, you agree to pay all the legal fees involved in enforcing this licence agreement.  And to indemnify retailers against any claims by you relating to this licence, and agree that retailers and internet service providers may turn over your private and identifying information to the author and her representatives and agents in order to investigate licence agreement breaches.  Oh, and you’re paying for those representatives and agents too.  And giving me $262,800 or some other weird and random amount of money every time you break them, where “break” is defined by me and my appointed arbitrator.   An arbitrator which you also agree to let me pick, whose decision is binding on you.  But not me, of course.  Oh, and you agreed to all this just by opening the book file, so it’s too late to change your mind now.  And also, please don’t use this ebook to make nuclear or biological weapons.  I suppose chemical weapons are okay, though, if you must, but that’s still kind of rude.  I mean, remember what happened to Saddam.  Oh, and never use this book to make political points about anything, because whatever your politics are they probably bore me.  And I don’t like being bored, so just don’t.  Oh, and never talk about politics and religion at dinner.  And the fish fork is the one on the outside.  And stop using semicolons, they’re just pretentious.  And don’t try and reverse engineer my brain, please, at least not while I’m still using it.  And don’t criticize this license agreement in public.  Okay, I think that’s all.  And notwithstanding anything else in this licence agreement, if you’d like to well, just read this ebook, then that’s fine, you may!  And if you’d like to say something actually nice, you are welcome to do that too.  But my lawyer is watching, and you bought me a real pit-bull of one, thanks for that, so don’t cross them, I mean it!  Oh yeah, and also you agree that this license is binding on you even if an agreement like this is actually illegal wherever you are, and you also agree I can alter the license terms whenever I like, in any way, without actually bothering to tell you.  Okay, now I’m done,

 -

I’m kind of actually quite seriously tempted to put this in a book and see if anyone actually notices.  Because well, I have a weird feeling that no-one would, and that a lot of this might actually really be legal if I did.  Which would be sort of funny in a twisted and awful way…

And oh yeah, this is kind of sarcastic internet, in case that wasn’t obvious, so don’t shout at me if you don’t like it.  Because if you’re reading this on a computer that isn’t running a linux you probably already agreed to something like this.

Here, have a link to the EFF page about dodgy EULAs.