Big Old Election Day Grump

I just had a wonderful idea!

So most places, every three or four years, everyone gets to join in with politicians’ self-validitation games and go vote in an election, yes?  Yay!  But this self-validitation is only for politicians.

Not for anyone else.

But um…  why?

Because I think everyone else, in all other jobs, they should be validated and happy too!  Like, everyone should be able to do the same thing at politicians!  And make people validate them!  On a day they choose!  So then everyone can all feel super-loved and happy because all the attention and votes and interest!

Just like politicians do!

Like, every three years, we could have film and music and writers and food and coffee and carpentry festivals where everyone in the whole country HAS to go and tell people they’re fabulous!  And pick one of them as a winner!

Yay, fun!

Lots of fun!  And even more fun, there’d be rules!

Like, say, if you don’t want to go to the actual festival-day, you’d have to buy a book or a song or a cupcake or whatever beforehand.  And you wouldn’t be allowed to forget either, or then you’d have to go to the actual festival, because obviously the people organising everything are busy and important and are only doing it for YOU, not themselves, and they don’t have time for your entitled bossy individual needs, thank you very much, so just stop being difficult and go!  Now!  And no, it doesn’t count if you really, really meant to have done it and forgot and will next week, promise, as soon as you have time.  No!  Too late!  Go to the festival!  This is important!

Or, at least, it’s important to the people organising it, who might win, and I can’t think what could possibly go wrong with letting the people who might win a contest organise it too, and also giving them the power to make everyone else join in…  what could go wrong with that?

Nothing, right?

And also, the bit about buying a song or book or meal or occasional table beforehand?  That has to be over the postal mail, too!  By law!  No I don’t know why either!  It just does!

Because over the internet, that’s way too simple, I suppose.  You have to suffer for it!  And queue!  Or you won’t appreciate having done it, I guess, if it’s all too easy and obvious.  Obvious, like, I don’t know, a phone app or something so you can do it while you get coffee!  Like you do for paying bills!   But no, that’s too obvious.

It has to be old-fashioned and serious and use paper and stuff!

And wait, also, we need more festivals!  Because there probably aren’t enough festival organisers to really make this completely fair.  And there might be fights between organisers, or whatev.  So instead of one big book or cupcake or music festival, you’d really need to let everyone do this!  Like any smaller part of any business or hobby or craft at all!  So instead of just having one big film or music or food festival, we’d have lots!  We’d have all the fesitvals!  For everything!

Same as how just when you get done with a federal election, and think that’s all finished, oh wait, yay, now it’s time for a state one.  So same thing!

Because then, as well as big festivals, you’d get to have little specialist niche festivals, and STILL make everyone come.  By law!  So stringed-instrument-only folk-music festivals and high-performance electric-hybrid car-shows and a festival of floaty red dresses, but only floaty and red and dresses!  Or a festival for cupcakes flavoured with orange but iced with non-orange icing!  Or a day for bushwalking, but only bushwalking in parks but not the actual bush.  Or I don’t know what else…  anything!  Until every single day is a something day and most of them are several things days, and every one of them you HAVE to join in!

Because, like, why should politicians be the only people who get to MAKE everyone join in with their validation?

No, um, really?  I don’t get it.  Why should they be?  Why is politics such a special job?  Like, why can’t we make everyone go to ComicCons too?  Or join in a national Bakery best-bread-prize Day?  Or a most-polite-about-dealing-with-patients-stupid-medical-questions-because-they’re-scared Nurses prize Day?  Or actually, a thank-you-SES best-dressed-in-orange day?

Um, I’m actually almost serious about this…  like why not?

Because it seems like there’s way more important jobs than politicianing, is all.

So this is my grump for today.  And I had started going on about this a bit…  as, um, might be obvious?  And I was going to keep going on about it all day, too.  Except it’s only lunchtime now, and partner is already bored with it and wants me to stop.

So now I’ll tell all of you instead!  Ha!

Oh, um, because today is a state election here, and because here you have to vote, so I get snotty about being made to go out just to join in other people’s silly hobbies, is all…  like have politics if you must but leave me out of it, please… :)

And yes, before anyone scolds me and wags their finger, yep democracy yay its all so terribly important oh my…  except how part of democracy is being able to choose NOT TO JOIN IN…  oh wait, no it isn’t…  :)

And also, with the part about having to actually go to a place and stand in a queue, and actually deal with all the super-yay political sign-holding people, who all get their super-validateds too…   um…  since I can do my actual money banking on a phone app, and that’s secure, why can’t I do that to vote too?  Um, seriously?  Especially since how that would actually let them check for people voting more than once, because phone numbers, and because how you have to prove who you are in the first place to get a phone…  um, is this just so obvious I’m the only one seeing it?  Sigh.

And also, it would let them count things instantly.  So they wouldn’t need to take up the TV all night with election coverage.  And also, they could text you a reminder if you haven’t remembered to yet…

Oh wait, actually, that would be really annoying.

Um, forget I said anything :)

So anyways, this is my rant for the day, and probablys for the whole year, really.  So I picked well!  Like a really important issue to address!

But now I’m done :)   Now I’m stopping.

I’m stopping because now I have to go and stand in a queue and vote.  Or not vote.  But I still have to go and stand.  Sigh.

Oops I haven’t posted in ages…

And I was going to, except then I kind of went to pinterest and got distracted…  um…

Sorry?

So more stuff soon, I was just hiding for a bit, and at least I wrote something here even if its only four lines.  I’ve answered emails too, and sorry that took ages.

Um, that was all really.  Sorry?  And thank you for looking.

Weird SFF-Satire-Flash-Ranty-Preachy Story: Offering the World

This is a bit weird.  It’s not smut.  It’s also probably triggery and maybe offensive to religious people.  But I hope the good kind of offensive, like the offensive that hints at something which might be worth saying.  I hope anyway.

Um, if not, sorry.  Like actually really sorry.

But its SFF and fantasy, so no-one should be offended.

Or satire.  Maybe its satire.

I’m really not sure.

But anyways, here, have a weird flash-fic SFF story thing!

 

New Wattpady GxG Romancey Thingy: Valentine’s Day

So its really late and I’m way too tired to have anything clever to say, sorry!  But literotica has story prompt writing contest thingys, and the current one is Valentine’s Day, so well, um, I did!  And if you’re interested, the prompt is that, obviously, and you have until Feb 5, so go do one too!  Quick!

Anyway, here’s mine, which is a story, and which is here!

And um, that’s all really :)  Enjoy!

Oh, and thank you for looking, since…  um…  well you are.

Okay not making sense, going away now…

Oh my, that google bomb actually worked!!!

So um, I just thought… because how I just went looking on here for my list of anti-trackery websites just now…

And no-one probably remembers this now, including me, but ages ago, like a year and a half ago, for no particular reason I put the words “midget elephant gerbil porn” into a post just to see if I could get it to show up on google.

And, um, apparently it did!

LIke the top result, at least for me, is now me!  Ha!

I really am quite proud.  Like, humbled, and flattered, and oh you, the internet, is so, so very kind.

Um, now everyone go click that over and over and really confuse everything!

Squee!

So I Wrote a Privacy Policy…

So I started fiddling with a visitors stats-collector thingy, and then thought I’d better say I was, and that it was on here, in case any of you mind terribly.  Which then kind of turned into a privacy policy.  Which is sort of silly, but sort of not.  Like all of the usual ranty about ad-blockers and stuff.

Because use ad-blockers!  And anti-trackers!  And all the rest.  Because, um true story thingy, I only found out Wattpad has ads on it after a year and a half writing there.  Um, seriously.  And that was only because I kind of wondered how they were making money and asked google and it said through advertising and I went oh yeah, right.  And so they are.

So anyways.  Like with the trackers and cookies and privacy here, basically, wordpress always counted pageviews and stuff, which you all knew, I hope.  But now I got another one, from another company, who are counting the same stuff the same way but more carefully, basically.

So if anyone strongly objects, please do say and I can rethink this.  Like I can turn the tracking cookie off at the least.

But remember how I’m probably more paranoid than all of you, so I’m really doing this basically assuming wordpress is already hoping to one day horribly misuse all its visitor data from everywhere, and I can’t stop them, so I might as well have my own data too.

Um, seriously.

And you should all assume that too!

New BxG Story: Older Men

And also one for the, um… not-wattpad list…  so boys, basically.

Or, well… men.

Um, kind of older men…

Obviously.  From the title.

So I don’t really know why, except why not?  And maybe because rewatching old Sex and the City episodes, because all Big and Samantha’s hotel boss and all the suits and smugness and sophistication…  so all of that!

But anyways, its here!

And Two More Stories, both Wattpad-Safe :)

So it seems like it had been ages since there were actual new short stores, because yes the other thing, and novels, and whatever, so anyways, here are two more!

Emily and Megan hook up in a hotel gym,

and Caitlin and Alyssa do kinky with candle wax.

And yep, I keep thinking about sweatiness at the moment, and nope, I don’t know why.  Oh well.

And um, the second one is a bit bdsmy, but not horribly so.  As in, probably okay if you only read here and not the other.  So just candle wax, basically.

So there you go!

New Story (um, finally): Catch Me If You Can

So this was a thing I started ages ago, and then forgot.  Basically, after someone said nicely how Evie’s Job didn’t actually have anything much about Sydney in it, which is true for reasons, so um, this!  A scenic tour of part of Sydney in words, or something!  Which is finally now it is finished.

And here!

And yep they are Tamsin and Matilda because those are the most Australiany names I could think of quickly.  So ha!

Although, actually, thinking about that…  maybe I should do a story about Lachlan Macquarie and Matilda Cumberland-Woolloomooloo and the entire rest of the world will basically go what the fuck, are those real names, they can’t possibly be, and the Australians who read it won’t even notice.  Ha again!

And yep, I had to check how to spell Woolloomooloo because I am that shitty a speller with too many Ls and Os, and yes I can never remember its the last one that only has one L, but also, I don’t visit multi-million-dollar apartments so much that I need to memorize how to spell it to type it into GPS-es so it doesn’t really matter!

And also, what I took out of the story because I couldn’t make the joke actually funny is that where they end up, they’re basically almost looking at Finger Wharf.  So, um, yes.  It really is called that, oh my.  I guess old-timey people were either way dirtier or way more innocent than us, or something.

Anyways, the story is here.

Literotica

So I put some stuff on literotica, really just to see.  Mostly because someone else on another blog said about it and I remembered!  And yep, I should have ages ago, but its just that their sign-up page the first time I looked anxietied me a bit because its kind of nosey.  Yes, like about the obvious things which I’m a little uncomfortable answering.  Because labels.  Because too specific.

So anyways.  I looked again and realized oh wait, actually, those aren’t required questions.  So maybe I should.

And then, because I was thinking that, I did!

So stories are here.

But just to say, these are all old!  Like, older stuff that is already on here, or is free ebooks on Smashwords.  So please don’t get excited!  It’s just to have things up in different places is all.  So there’s no real reason to go running off there, and this is mostly just saying in case anyone is on there, and suddenly sees it, so you know that it isn’t new stuff.  And also, basically, what is on there is a bit disorganised at the moment, so a mix of stuff from here and the other one, and shorter and longer, because I’ve no real idea what people like to read there.  Although it seems kind of way kinkier than I usually am, so it probably doesn’t matter! But mostly just kind of randomly chosen.  And at the moment comments and anonymous talking to me and everything is off, because, um…  well… its me…  But votes are on, because ego.  But I might maybe turn off the voting if that gets weird.  Maybe.

So anyways, that’s all. Just to say.

And yes, this was kind of a weird post.  Like, hi this is an announcement that there’s nothing to announce.  That, basically.

But also, if you just got here from literotica, um, hi and thank you and welcome!  Because it seems like some of you are turning up!  So that’s really kind, and thank you, and just to say clearly, because everything here is completely disorganized because reasons, um, gxg is here, bxg is here, and confessional-bdsm-whatever is here.

And thank you to the people who are looking!