I Got Inspired and Made a New Copyright Agreement!

So I was vaguely looking at an EULA just now, and getting all inspired.  Thanks Microsoft!  So now I’m seriously thinking of using this as my new copyright notice, but just wondering if the publishy places might not stop me…

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This ebook is copyright.  It is not being sold.  It is licensed to you for your personal use and enjoyment only.  If you are not enjoying it, then you no longer have permission to use it.  So stop reading it!  Omfg does this actually need pointing out.  Go read something you do like!  Life is short!  It should be fun!  Don’t make me sue you to force you to read shit you actually like.  Ha!   Oh, and also, it’s not published, asshole, just licensed, so you don’t have permission to use its name, cover, blurb, description, contents, characters, or plotlines on any review site, or your own blog, or anywhere else.  This remains an unpublished private communication between you and the author and isn’t subject to fair use.  Don’t make my lawyer go find a US state where this is actually true, because my lawyer doesn’t want to move to Delaware and you won’t like paying the legal fees that result from that either.  Oh yeah, also, you agree to pay all the legal fees involved in enforcing this licence agreement.  And to indemnify retailers against any claims by you relating to this licence, and agree that retailers and internet service providers may turn over your private and identifying information to the author and her representatives and agents in order to investigate licence agreement breaches.  Oh, and you’re paying for those representatives and agents too.  And giving me $262,800 or some other weird and random amount of money every time you break them, where “break” is defined by me and my appointed arbitrator.   An arbitrator which you also agree to let me pick, whose decision is binding on you.  But not me, of course.  Oh, and you agreed to all this just by opening the book file, so it’s too late to change your mind now.  And also, please don’t use this ebook to make nuclear or biological weapons.  I suppose chemical weapons are okay, though, if you must, but that’s still kind of rude.  I mean, remember what happened to Saddam.  Oh, and never use this book to make political points about anything, because whatever your politics are they probably bore me.  And I don’t like being bored, so just don’t.  Oh, and never talk about politics and religion at dinner.  And the fish fork is the one on the outside.  And stop using semicolons, they’re just pretentious.  And don’t try and reverse engineer my brain, please, at least not while I’m still using it.  And don’t criticize this license agreement in public.  Okay, I think that’s all.  And notwithstanding anything else in this licence agreement, if you’d like to well, just read this ebook, then that’s fine, you may!  And if you’d like to say something actually nice, you are welcome to do that too.  But my lawyer is watching, and you bought me a real pit-bull of one, thanks for that, so don’t cross them, I mean it!  Oh yeah, and also you agree that this license is binding on you even if an agreement like this is actually illegal wherever you are, and you also agree I can alter the license terms whenever I like, in any way, without actually bothering to tell you.  Okay, now I’m done,

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I’m kind of actually quite seriously tempted to put this in a book and see if anyone actually notices.  Because well, I have a weird feeling that no-one would, and that a lot of this might actually really be legal if I did.  Which would be sort of funny in a twisted and awful way…

And oh yeah, this is kind of sarcastic internet, in case that wasn’t obvious, so don’t shout at me if you don’t like it.  Because if you’re reading this on a computer that isn’t running a linux you probably already agreed to something like this.

Here, have a link to the EFF page about dodgy EULAs.

 

Random Idea: Ebooks with Dirty Bits Linkys

So this is just a random idea, but maybe it’s useful to someone…

If a book is ebook-only, and the ebook reader its on can do linkys outside the book to a website, as in, show the web page on the actual reader without losing the place in the book or anything, then you could write, say, a PG13 book that every so often, like when characters hooked up, said, “this scene can be read in more detail on an external website, click here”, or whatever.  And then if someone does, they see an expanded, more explicit, R-rated version of the hookup scene.

Does that make any sense?

As in, read book, read book, dirty bit starts, click to website, read smut, go back to book and keep reading.

Because it seems like that would be good for two things.  First, in shops, the book wouldn’t get hidden off in erotica and R-ratedness, and second, people who don’t want the smutty don’t have to look, but everyone else can.

It just seems like maybe a more elegant way than having separate PG13 and R rated versions, like films do?  Because I still have a faint squick about all that kind of censory stuff, because it seems weird to me, because I’m not from the same country as all the bookshops that get all weirded and prudish about sex.  So it seems like this might be a less awful way to cope with the awfulness of characters actually having sex than to R-rate everything.  Well, except how that might be kind of annoying to keep going backwards and forwards to a website…  I guess that could be a nuisance.

But anyway, I just thought that was a clever idea.  Here internets, its yours.  Please use it!  I mean, if anyone wants to :)

Um, wait…  actually I probably should have tried to patent the idea of “an ebook with a link to an external location”.

Sigh.  I’ll never be rich.

Oh well.

Anyways, I was kind of thinking about this for Islands in the Sky maybe, is all.  But then ideas keep happening with that, and stuff is taking longer, and I’m really not sure how long it will actually be before any hooking up actually happens, so never mind.  I’ll have forgotten by then.

 

 

And Also, A Pretty Map for Islands in the Sky

Um, it’s here…  I hope.  It’s also stupidly big and not really hugely pretty, but it’s a map!

That’s a linky because I think if it opens as a completely separate page it’ll work, even though pictures in the main blog are still broken. Yes they’re still broken after months and months because I’m shit and haven’t fixed it yet, oh well.

But anyway, this is mostly here for Wattpad, because it seems I can link to here from there and make oh pretties, so never mind if it doesn’t work right here anyway, ya’all who care will still find it i hope :)

Um, that’s all!

The big describey boring chapter of Islands should be done with soon, too!  Um, yay :)

 

Random Story

Um, cause someone said about how weirdly formally everyone undresses in smut, um, this…  smut where no-one undresses!

Ha!

 

Norwegian Orgy

Erika went to meet the women she had found on the internet. She went to a particular layby on the side of an empty country road, a long way from anywhere.

They met, twenty of them, driving up and parking and getting out of cars, and hugging and kissing and sometimes shaking hands. Some had been here before, and some were new, here their first time. It was a thing to do, something fun.

They met to have sex, and they all did it with all their clothes on.

It was Norway in winter, and already dark at three in the afternoon. And they were only meeting to use their hands on one another, as they’d all agreed. It was an orgy, but a safe, polite orgy. It was an orgy for people who wanted to be with a lot of new people, but not to take risks.

They all met, and touched and kissed and whispered, and had lots of sex by torch-light, but they only undressed the smallest amount possible. Erika undid their thick padded ski trousers, and pulled people’s hands down inside them. She leaned on a picnic table, kissing and smiling, and feeling their fingers slipping inside her thick trousers and woollen long-johns, and then inside her.

She had sex with a lot of people. They all had sex with a lot of people. She had fun, feeling so many new fingers, hearing so many new sighs of pleasure, tasting so many new mouths.

She had sex with a lot of people, and she didn’t take her woollen hat and scarf off the whole time, but she still felt slightly cold when she was done.

When they were, they all shook hands and put their gloves back on and got back in their cars, and drove away. They all went back to their lives, and agreed to meet up here again in a month, and do it all again.

 

And Two New Darkish bdsm-ish gxg as well!

And two more that are gxg but aren’t going on wattpad.

These are kind of dark, and a quite bdsmy, sort of, and well, um, here.  If you’re interested.  But really, please don’t feel obliged!

Love Letter to Someone who Hurts Me

Real Me

These are true too.  Like this is me as me, not just smutty stories.  Whether that makes anything better or not to know :)

 

Also, New Non-Wattpad Stuffs!

Some new non-wattpad things, just because!

More about Olivia and Josh and major sporting events, because, well, there were other major sporting events!

A flash story weirdness thing.

Also an experiment, kind of…  like first-person stuff which is a bit, um, truer…  so if you want an explanation, it’s here, otherwise, a story, a random thought, some fantasies, and also another one.

There you go!

 

 

Printer Ink!

So random real-life true story thingy.

So last night I was sitting on the floor leaning on the couch with the computer on my knees and kind of hunched and squinting at the screen, proof-reading.  Because I’m bad at proof-reading and slow at it, and don’t like it, and it’s boring, and so sometimes do it in front the TV.

As if that wasn’t obvious, from the quality of it haha.  And also as if it wasn’t obvious from how I post new stories late at night my time.

Anyways, I was doing that and partner said, “Why not just print it out and use a pen like a normal person.”

Or something like that, approximately.

And I said, “I’m a struggling writer.  I can’t afford to print things.”

Which I thought was kind of funny, so I’m telling you all my funny here.

And also, just because…

Ta-dah! A smarmy bit of social commentary masquerading as a SF infodump!

“In the early twenty-first century,” the rather pompous and dull teacher said.  “The global printer cartels had the world in a stranglehold.  Civilization was slowing, creativity was being stifled, all because of their greed.  Now this is an old, old story.  The railroads did it, too.  In this case we can be glad, because the loathing ordinary people felt for the despised printer cartels and their sordid tricks to sell more ink drove the tablet revolution in the early years of that century.  Because who can say, without this printer ink abuse, whether the dream of the paperless office would ever have been realized…”

The main character wasn’t really listening, and the teacher’s voice became a kind of  dull buzz.  So you don’t get it all repeated here, unlike a real old-school SF story where this scene would go on for pages and pages even though the pov character has zoned out, and would end with a rant about how public whipping reduces crime.

Of course, a real person would just avoid the class and the boring teacher and cut classes to smoke weed, but this is Real SF(trademarked) so even though there’s absolutely no reason for it, the main character feels strangely drawn to the teacher, like his wisdom and cleverness and valuable life lessons which will follow from being lectured to at great length by, well, a mediocre high-school teacher in an otherwise utterly average high school.  And this teacher will be remembered long after, even as the main character joins the space marines and fights aliens and saves the human race.  All because of this one afternoon in this one classroom.

I guess the future is different.  Or they use hypnosis and subliminal marketing in the classroom by then, or something.

Oh wait…  that’s probably how they recruit for the space marines, actually.

 

The Official Current Daily-Writing Book(s)

So just to explain in case anyone here isn’t over there and hasn’t noticed…

Um, I’m back on to doing books rather than short stories.  The stories were just, um, I don’t know actually…  because it suddenly just happened?  Because how I have less control over this whole thing than everyone seems to expect, and so on.  And because writing to a kind of daily deadline seems to actually work quite well, and makes me get stuff done, so if I can do one lot of 1000 words that way, why not try and do more?

So I will, at least until it gets too much and my brain explodes or something.  Even though these will be more “up to 1000 words”, like housemates was, rather than “at least a 1000 words” like Evie’s Job turned into.  Because I wondered if that’s why Evie’s Job got a bit long in places.

So anyways, these…

 

As Darkness Falls

This one I’ll do every day, but just to say again, it isn’t smut, so that maybe something you need to know.  A couple, one of which is an abuse survivor, consider revenge killing.  And the blurby…  When she was a child, Zoe was raped by her father.  Now, years later, he is being released from prison.  Zoe’s girlfriend Sara loves Zoe with all her heart.  She loves Zoe so completely that she would do anything for Zoe.  She would kill for Zoe if she had to.  And then Zoe actually asks her to.  She asks Sara to help her kill her father, and Sara realizes she could, that she is capable of it, and that she might be able to get away with it, too.

Um, this is just on Wattpad because doing daily updates is much, much easier than here :)

 

Love Letters that aren’t about Love

Which is trying to be every day, but sometimes takes slightly longer because it’s a bit tricker to write.  So a weird mix of a novel and short stories.   Emma writes Alyssa dirty emails that are usually stories, and tries to decide if she wants to have an affair.  This is the smuttiest of the current ones, just in case that matters to any of your perves :)

And this is on Wattpad because it has been for ages!

 

Islands in the Sky

SFF of some sort, probably fantasy, because there’s magic…  or is there, because it’s a dystopian future version of our world after a magical apocalypse, so perhaps what they all think is a magical disaster is actually a technological collapse and the myths about that… oh except how the world consists of islands of the earth’s crust floating three miles in the air…  no I don’t know which it is either.

On one island, Sema, a farm girl, watches as her family are killed by pirates. On another, in a city, a thousand miles to south, Cassa is about to marry a man she does not love because she doesn’t love men at all.

Although, to be honest, I just wrote the Cassa part of the blub for the sake of it because omg meeting each other and falling in love and all that stuff…  but I have no idea who Cassa is or why or whatever so yeah..  um…  we’ll see?  Once Sema’s more, um, immediate problems are dealt with…

Immeadiate problems like pirates and murder and starvation…   oh just go look, it’ll make sense then.

On Wattpad and also on here because I suspect Wattpad people who know me aren’t especially SF-ish and maybe people here are!   I’ll update the page here in chunks probably, like maybe weekly, unless lots of people suddenly start reading it…  so Wattpad is fresher, is what I mean.

 

The Debt Collectors War

Because SFF is overrun with books called “the something’s war” so I will too!  Ha!   Near-future SF, about mercenaries looking for a missing heir in the usual corporatey nation-less free-markety world.  One in which the Afghan war is still going on, but in which the US has collapsed because of a debt crisis and is being debt-collected on by private banks from China.  And also, this is the start of what was Edges of Empires, because I wanted to come back to that, just without the torturey end which everyone hated.  So, um, this will be redoing that, but with an actual story.  But I won’t add to this every day because trying to do three at once is probably enough, but it’ll keep going as I think of stuff.

Yep I know there should probably be an apostrophe.  It just looked bad on the cover :)

On Wattpad and also on here too.

 

 

So yep, that’s the plan for next little while!

And you’d get pictures of covers, except I still haven’t fixed that… um…

And also you can say book now.  That isn’t scary any more.  I think I said that before, actually.

And also, yep, this is a bit because the last post and whatever and looking around for something else to see if I can fit into that.  So time for a more serious go at SFF.   And also, yep, this mostly means probably no more short stuff here for a while, because this will get a bit busy, so maybe I’ll go quiet.  But there will be stuff, just not short stuff, so yay!

And because Love Letters is really short stuff anyway.

And last, also thank you for looking and caring and everything, too…  like I really appreciate it, even if I get sad and whiny and grumpy sometimes :)   So I’m not sure who’s just here and who’s on Wattpad too, and half the time it’s like “oh right, that’s you” when someone says, so, um, thank you.  I mean, if I haven’t yet or before or whatever…  like thank you heaps, to you personally, for looking at this and wanting to read stuff and being nice too.  So that’s all really…  just thank you, because I forget to say that enough :)

Okays, now I go and write some stuff :)

I don’t write Romance

So a random half-made thought because we haven’t had a nice troublesome half-made thought here in forever…

I don’t write Romance.

That’s the thought.  I’m starting to realize this again, I think.

Yep, sigh.  Again.  I think this happened last year too.

So I don’t write Romance, but I write about love all the time.  Love going right and love going wrong and love being complicated and disorganized.  The complicated and disorganized probably being pretty much why it isn’t Romance.

Which means I don’t know what to call it.

It’s also quite weird.  Because, being realistic, a huge amount of the smut is about people who think they’re doing commitment-free hookups actually getting entangled and committing, really.  And lots of the other hook-ups end up with implied ongoing-ness, almost just automatically if I don’t think about it.  And I don’t really know what that means, but it probably means something.  Like, I’m a total failure as a voice for fun and commitment-free actually, because I completely sell out and put them together.  Which implies Romance.

Except that I don’t think I actually do Romance after all.

Which kind of leaves me without a genre.

So even saying this is a bit weird, really, because I always thought that was what I wanted to do, like erotic romance, basically like Evie and Mia, but apparently not.

So sigh?  Or, oh well?  Something, anyway.

I actually don’t know what to do with that though, now I’ve thought it.

Although.

Could someone please stop me next time I start announcing I’m doing something romancey…  because just obviously it’s really not a good idea and also obviously, I probably will again sometime :)   So please shout at me if I do.  Like, um, really.  Actually do?