And about the washing machine itself

So normally I don’t do this.  Normally, and I think we all prefer it that way, this is a pretty one-way kind of communication deal.  So I say shit, and you read shit, and – I assume – we’re all a bit too embarrassed to try and talk to each other very much.

This is not really a blog about dialog and engagement, if you see what I mean.  Because of how it’s about my life as a secretive smut-merchant.

The washing machine, though.

I am a little curious about this one.  I am really, really fucking curious.

So yes, I did do, um, research.

Feel free to laugh now.

Yes, I went and sat on the fucker in the interests of research.  Hey partner beloved, I love you and I assume I’ll be hearing more on this when you see this post.

And for everyone else, please appreciate the shit I do for you.  The towel inside the washer is an actual tip.  From me to you.  There you go.  Now you just need to work out how not to drop your kindle while you sit there.

Or your laptop.  That would be worse.

Anyways.  I did research.  As one does.  And I don’t know if our washer isn’t the best model, or isn’t designed right, or for that matter if I’m not designed right, but I don’t quite get it.  It’s fairly new and plastic and cheap as fuck and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t spin all the water out as well as it could.  So, um, maybe its not the right model.  Maybe you need some big old industrial hunk of steel that shakes itself like a fucking jackhammer.



So in theory I see why this could work.  I mean, there’s rumbling, and it’s nice and everything.  But its really only nice like a massage, not breathtaking heart-stopping nice like getting off.  If you see what I mean.

For comparison.  I once leaned on a metal railing kind of bit on a ferry, and the railing bit must have somehow been bolted to something that was bolted to something that was stuck onto the engine, because that really fucking worked. I mean, like this thing was a public safety menace, if you leaned on it the right way.

Which I didn’t, because of how I’m shy and everything.  And don’t do the kind of shit my characters do.

The washing machine, however, was nothing like that.  It was a bit dull, in all honesty.

So I’m kind of taking a step here, just being curious.  Just to see how asking goes, and still wondering if this is a good idea.

This is a shout-out open-call kind of deal.  I am now reaching out.  Has anyone got this to work?  And is there a trick?  Particular machines?  Sitting on a corner or something?  A tight fitting lid so it’s moving as part of the whole thing, and not seperately?

I’m just really fucking curious, is all.

So don’t say anything if you don’t want, because I probably will just get all weird and bat-shit if anyone does.  I’m just dipping a toe and asking and seeing how this works.

Because I’m curious.  And nosey.

And I’ll stop trying to turn this into a dialog if no-one else wants to.  That’s cool too.  It is smut, after all.

And yes, I do know a particular spot on a particular ferry where shenanigans may go on.  And I so completely do look knowingly at anyone I see standing there.  Leaning.  Looking out all soppy-eyed at the romantic view of Sydney harbor.  And I bet it isn’t just me who knows about what either.

4 thoughts on “And about the washing machine itself

  1. It definitely worked for a few girls I knew back in school. I used to hear them talk about it with each other (they had no idea haha) and they were borderline obsessed with washing machines. I used to ask questions here and there about it to them when I could. I learned that the harder they shook, the better. From what I gathered they just sat on top during the spin cycle and did their thing or just leaned against it.
    Another favorite these friends had were cars that would shake or vibrate a lot when they were parked and idling. It seemed like that was a bit more popular. I used the advice they never knew they gave me to my advantage over the years haha.
    Ever since then ive been completely infatuated hearing that girls like those things. I am way too shy to ever just come out and ask though.

    • So I read “The Washing Machine.” I liked it! I was a little hesitant at first because I am the world’s biggest prude lol but I am glad I stuck with it for sure! I was blown away to see you were the author, because this post was the first and only thing ive read from you so far. I instantly felt like a complete ass haha. I am absolutely going to immediately read up some more so dont jump to anymore conclusions lol.

  2. Hey dude, thanks for answering, and especially on this one. And especially if you’re not completely cool talking about this kind of thing!

    So let’s just say this is about engineering to avoid the blushing, okay?

    What you say is my general impression too. So now I’m definitely thinking the problem is a cheap-ass plastic washer that doesn’t spin super well. Or maybe that there’s springs inside or something to keep the noise down. Or both.

    The car thing I’ve, um, noticed. And I once got told by someone from Melbourne that trams can do it too. And I can see how shitty old cars with big engines would help. But good luck if you have a Prius or whatever. Just saying. I also got thinking that it’s probably too that there’s better things out there now, but maybe, back in the day, when everyone was too embarrassed to keep such things just lying around, this kind of substitute made sense.

    So there’s a repressed 1950s housewife novel in that, if I had it in me to write one.

    Anyways. Thank you for that, and for reading the story, and I hope the rest aren’t too shocking. They shouldn’t be, because I’m trying to be polite about it all, mostly. As much as I can.

    • You’re welcome! Thank you for getting back to me with the answer that you did. I was pretty nervous because I didn’t know exactly how you would react if at all, especially since you said it isn’t typically something you did.

      I will spend some time this weekend reading your blog and seeing what else you’re all about :)

      I guess if you’re ever in the mood to write more about this topic and find yourself drawing a blank with ideas, ill gladly try and explain what I learned from listening in on my friends conversations and things that I’ve learned over the years from being so intrigued by this whole thing. You could easily write a novel haha. It’s just cool to hear someone has an interest in it. I l’m sure most women would like these things to a certain extent but im not asking without hiding behind a screen first haha.

      Feel free to email me if you ever want to talk or share any more about it.

Comments are closed.