Experimental Science Smut: Taste Zones on Your Tongue

Otherwise titled, Stupid Shit Writers Do, Part Whatever.

So this one isn’t completely as stupid as it could be, but it is weird-shit research.  Since the washing machine thing came up the other day.

So tongues.  I noticed a while ago I could taste sugar all over.  I noticed, maybe, because I don’t eat sweet things that much, so when I do it’s a big deal.  Perhaps.

So today I checked.  I actually got a spoon and sugar and stuck sugar on different bits of my tongue.  Then I tried with salt.

So what this was going to say was I call bullshit on the whole tongue taste zones thing.  I just don’t think its right.  It’s untidier than that.

This being relevant for writing dirty scenes, and whether people taste different bits of other people on different bits of their tongue.  Especially what was concerning me was if girls taste different on the tip of your tongue.  Or mouthfuls of boy.

Think about it.

So I was going to say that, and how fucking weird it was, and then I googled.

It turns out this isn’t news, and the internets say yes, that’s right.  You taste all the things you taste over all of your tongue.  The zones thing is just wrong.

So from now on, none of this sweet-at-the-front, skank-at-the-back stuff shall appear in my writing.  So there.

But I actually checked it.  You ought to be glad to know.  When you read me, you get rigorously scientifically tested smut!  Not just some shit I made up without checking.

Um.  Except for all the things I just took for granted and didn’t notice and haven’t realized I’m getting wrong.  Other than those.