Amber’s first boyfriend had taught her how to do anal. It had hurt at first, but normal sex had too right at the very start, and in the end she got used to it. She’d learned to relax, and almost to like it. It didn’t turn her on, and the whole idea was slightly revolting if she thought about it too much, but once she had a cock or fingers inside her, it was nice, in a gently warm and filling kind of way.
Since then, every guy she’d been with had been up her ass.
She’d never asked them to, had never even offered, but in the end they always asked, and then she shrugged and let them.
It really wasn’t that different to giving head. She mainly did it for them, not herself, and while she was, she tuned out a bit, went into a half-distracted trance, thinking about work the next day or what she needed from the supermarket, while they got themselves off inside her. She didn’t mind, and it didn’t hurt any more, but even so it wasn’t really her thing. She was only really doing it for him. Whoever him was at that point in her life.
And then she met Ryan. And Ryan was different.
Ryan liked to share her. Ryan liked to watch her with other men.
Amber didn’t mind that either, since it meant she got to sleep with other people. And Ryan loved her as well, loved her a lot, and that helped with the sharing. He put up with her weirdness. Amber was volatile. An ex had called her that, while they were breaking up, and that was how she’d thought of herself ever since. Volatile. She got moody, and angry too, angry for no reason. Sometimes she threw plates, or swore at people who upset her, or slapped and bit and screamed. Just screamed, wordlessly, because she was angry.
And Ryan still loved her, and wanted her, and thought she was wonderful, so she didn’t mind doing things for him. Doing sex things, he wanted to try. Like letting him share her with other men.
At first it had only been close friends, people they both already knew. Since Amber had been into it, and hadn’t objected, it had gone on from there. Now Ryan seemed to go out looking for partners for her, to find men he didn’t know to share her with.
It was like he got some acceptance he didn’t normally get by sharing her with strangers, Amber thought. Some validation, somehow. Like she might get from a stranger saying her outfit was nice.
Except with Ryan it was letting strangers fuck his girlfriend.
It was a bit strange, but Amber liked sex, and didn’t mind the strangers, was happy to help Ryan feel better about himself. Since that was what it seemed to be.
And fucking other men was fun, and that didn’t hurt either.
This particular night, Ryan had gone out earlier with his mates. He’d been to the pub to watch football, and then stayed out, and come home about midnight with another guy.
Amber had been home all night, watching TV, and was in her pyjamas. She didn’t really care what she was wearing when Ryan did this any more. She’d worked out, eventually, that the men didn’t care what she was wearing, or if she had makeup on, or how her hair was.
It was anonymous sex. And Amber was into it. And that was enough.
Ryan had come home, and Amber had taken off her clothes, and sucked their cocks, and let them do what they wanted to her.
It ended up with anal, because it always ended up with anal. Because it was Amber’s thing, which made her infinitely more special than any other girlfriend any other guy into sharing could share with strangers.
Ryan always wanted to show off, so Amber always got fucked in the ass.
It was really that simple.
She was kneeling on the bed, and Ryan was fucking her there, and it was like pretty much any other time they did this. Ryan was close to coming, and the other guy was watching, silently.
Amber suddenly realized she’d forgotten the guy’s name. If she’d ever known it.
He might not have said.
She knelt there, and watched him past her arm, and thought that she would have him inside her in a moment.
Because Ryan was almost there.
She watched the other guy, watched him watch her getting fucked in the ass, and it was sordid and awful and sexy too.
Then Ryan grunted, and swelled inside Amber, and came. Then knelt there, breathing fast for a moment, before he pulled out of her.
Amber felt suddenly empty. Suddenly disappointed.
Having something taken out of her ass before she came always made her disappointed. She didn’t know why.
She kept kneeling where she was. She didn’t look up, didn’t ask them to hurry. It was late, and she was tired, and it was better, anyway, if she just knelt there.
“Go on,” Ryan said, to the other guy.
The other guy got onto the bed, got in close behind Amber. He was gentler than Ryan, touching her, taking his time.
All the same, Amber tried to look bored. To look like she was only putting up with this, letting them use her.
She folded her arms on the bed, and put her face on them, and stayed still, breathing slowly, while the other guy slid his cock up inside her.
She didn’t make a sound. Not of discomfort, and especially not of enjoyment.
Ryan liked to share her, but he also liked to be the most interesting man in her life.
As far as Amber had ever worked it out, it was something to do with Ryan not being good at sports or work or getting rich, and not being smart enough that it counted for anything. Amber was smarter than him, and would probably do better than him in the end, at work and at life, and he knew that and it made him insecure.
So rather than worry whether she wanted other men, he made her fuck other men.
He made her. Or at least he thought he made her. When they talked about it he said he made her.
He made her fuck them in her ass.
That seemed to be the essence of why he was doing it.
To make her.
And Amber liked it. Or at least, she didn’t care.
It should have been shameful, but it wasn’t. The truth was, being fucked by strangers turned her on, and the truth was, condom-covered cocks fit into her ass more gently then Ryan’s bare one did.
She liked the strangers better.
So while other men were inside her, she made herself look bored, but really, secretly, she was aching with delight.
Strange men turned her on. Having them, enjoying them, without Ryan knowing. It was wrong but it turned her on.
The guy was inside her, and she started fucking him back. Feeling him. Feeling he fit into her differently to Ryan.
She started pushing backwards faster, harder, feeling felt him pushing into her too. Felt his hands touching her, holding her hips, his breath getting shallower. Her joining in always seemed to turn them on. As if her liking it, taking part in the anal sex, made it much, much better.
She supposed she could see why.
She reached down and rubbed her clit. She’d told Ryan long ago that she had to do this so she could stand the pain and keep going.
Ryan had accept that, and never seemed to realize the truth was actually exactly the opposite.
Anal didn’t hurt Amber. Anal hadn’t hurt her for years, not after the first dozen or so times she’d done it. She rubbed herself to get herself there, to get herself off, and she could never tell Ryan that, because she never came from anal sex with him.
Only ever with strangers.
Because the strangers turned her on, and their condomed cocks felt better inside her. More slithery and slick.
She was getting close, was fucking harder, was still keeping her face down, on her arms, trying not to seem like she cared.
After a moment, she came.
She came quietly, a short gasp and then she closed her eyes, and bit onto her arm, and made sure she made no other sound.
Ryan, across the room, never realized. He’d seen her come hundreds of times, and dozens like this, and he never realized she was when she was with someone else. The guy inside her did, though. He felt her tense tight around him, clenching hard, felt her stop moving, maybe felt her breath change.
He felt how much she needed this, how turned on she was, and her needing and horniness, she’d noticed before, seemed to be the one thing no-one could not respond to.
No-one she’d done this with could avoid coming themselves, once they realized she just had.
It was pretty dirty, she supposed. It must be pretty hot, knowing she’d got off from something so sordid.
Like all the others, he was pretty much there as soon as she finished.
She felt the guy’s legs start to shake, and felt him throb inside her. After a moment he slid backwards, still panting, and his cock popped out of her. She felt a backwards tugging as the head of his cock slid past her asshole, and then felt empty again.
She didn’t mind the empty, now that she’d come too.
She turned around and peeled the sticky condom off the guy. She went into the bathroom and flushed it, wiped herself, and washed her hands, and when she came back out he was gone.
She sat on the bed beside Ryan, and Ryan kissed her and hugged her and whispered that he loved her, and that he was sorry.
He always said he was sorry. Even though she wanted this.
“I love you too,” she said, and leaned against him while he held her.
He said sorry again, a moment later.
She said not to worry. It had been good, she supposed, but she was tired. She got into bed, and Ryan got in too, and said he was sorry a third time.
He would keep saying it off and on for an hour.
He always felt bad about doing this, like he’d done it to her. Like he’d made her, and it was him demanding something happen to her.
She thought that was sweet, although she never told him that.
Because she didn’t care. She wanted this. And sorry as he might be, he’d still find another guy to give her to in a week or three, and they’d do the same thing again.
And she’d come again, like she always did. And never be able to tell him.