The strangest wedding Eloise had ever been to was one where, halfway through, she realized she’d slept with one of the brides.
Not only slept with the bride, but that the bride was her base-line of kinky and depraved, who she remembered long afterwards, and still fantasised about sometimes even now.
It was five or six years ago, and it took Eloise a while to be sure, but in the end she was.
She was sure because it had been a memorable night. She remembered the bride’s tongue inside Eloise’s then-girlfriend’s ass. She remembered wrists being tied, and being out on a balcony, and possibly in a hotel pool. She remembered her and then-girlfriend Emily being picked up, actually just hit on and picked up as a couple, and being surprised as much as thinking it might be fun to try. She remembered because the bride was the first person Eloise had ever met who was quite so gleefully perverted, who’d said she was game for anything and actually seemed to mean it. She remembered too because it was the first time she’d been rimmed. All in all, the whole evening was fairly clear in her mind, once she’d made the connection.
She sat there for a while, thinking how odd it was to see this woman all perfect and made up and in her white dress, in this whole perfect wedding-day world she’d created for herself, while Eloise sat there in the crowd and watched her and knew she liked to eat out other people’s assholes. And a whole lot more besides.
It seemed almost wrong to be thinking that, while promises were made and vows were said, but Eloise thought it anyway.
Then decided she had to tell Leticia.
They were there because now-girlfriend Leticia worked with the other bride, and Leticia had the right sense of humour to get Eloise, which meant she’d get this too.
Eloise leaned over, and said, “Hey,” close against Leticia’s ear.
“Don’t talk,” Leticia whispered.
“I’ve slept with the bride.”
Leticia turned and looked at her. “What?”
“I’ve fucked the bride.”
“The other bride. Not your one.”
Leticia seemed to be thinking. Eloise leaned further, and tried to look all soppy and romantic and like she was just hugging Leticia, all smitten with wedding love. Rather than whispering gossip in Leticia’s ear.
“I had a threeway with her and Emily,” Eloise said.
“A threeway?” Leticia said, then realized. “Emily the ex?”
“That Emily the ex? The same one?”
“Ah,” Eloise said. “Yeah, how many…?”
“She picked us up,” Eloise said. “The bride did. Like both of us. And we thought we may as well give it a try.”
Leticia was thinking again. She opened her mouth.
“Ask later,” Eloise whispered. “I’ll tell you everything. Just the thing is, she’s totally perverted.”
“Her. The bride.”
“Of course not.” Eloise thought. “Well, yeah. But not as bad….”
Leticia was looking at her again. “The bride’s perverted,” Eloise said, lost in a string of hers. “My bride. Not yours.”
“So do you care your mate’s marrying a pervert?”
“She’s not a mate,” Leticia said. “I just work with her.”
“That’s all right then.”
“That was all?”
“Pretty much. I just wanted to tell you.”
Leticia nodded. She’d started grinning, like Eloise knew she would. Leticia thought the whole situation was funny too.
“Don’t smirk too much,” Eloise said, after a moment. “You know that thing about how someone was the one who taught your girlfriend that thing you like?”
Leticia nodded slowly.
“Yeah,” Eloise said. “Well that was her.”
“Ah yeah. So there you go. Meet that person. Who, um, taught your girlfriend the thing you like.”
“Oh,” Leticia said, looking a big started. She was already embarrassed about the rimming.
“The thing you really like?” Eloise said, being difficult on purpose. “You know?”
Leticia flushed a little, and glared. “I know.”
“So maybe you should thank her later,” Eloise said. “It’d be polite.”
“You know what? I really don’t think I will.”
“Shut up,” Leticia said.
“I love you.”
Eloise leaned close. “I want to lick your ass.”
“Really,” Leticia said. “Just shut up.”
Eloise grinned, and was about to say she loved Leticia, and actually get all soppy, but an elderly relative behind them leaned forward and asked them to keep quiet, so she stopped talking instead.
Before anyone started listening carefully enough to hear what they were actually saying.